Prepare

My mommy's heart has been broken more than once in this waiting process. Last week was a difficult week in waiting to hear news of our Referral Acceptance. This is the next piece of paper we need to move forward with adopting Joshua. Last week, it felt like we had waited long enough, other people had been receiving their acceptance letters and I was sure we were now prepared and ready to go on to the next step. No news. Today, there was news of more people receiving acceptance letters, people whose paperwork has been in China less time. Still no news. Last week, I was pretty sad and emotional about this. Then, I began to feel guilty for feeling sad, as if my emotions somehow meant I wasn't trusting God to be in control. I know that He is in control. I'm thankful for these emotions. It is truly a miracle that my heart breaks for a little boy I only know from pictures and second hand reports.
Throughout this process, even before we found him on an agency listing, I felt like God had spoken to my heart about being prepared. Last week, a friend told me that when she prays for us, she thinks of the word "prepare." I've spent the past few days reflecting on preparation. It feels like we have done many things to be prepared. However, that doesn't mean God is finished preparing us or Joshua. A couple of days ago, I went to the gym intent on running 10 miles at a good pace. I thought I was prepared, but a couple of miles on the treadmill revealed I wasn't as prepared as I thought. My new shoes were not working well, my energy was low and in the end, I realized I had started too late and didn't have enough time. I've been praying that God will show me the areas where I need to do more to prepare. Perhaps it has nothing to do with adoption paperwork or preparing my house. Although I have my next package ready to send to USCIS, a photo album ready to mail to Joshua and letter ready to send with the first care package...and I've organized some closets. Perhaps it has more to do with drawing nearer to the One who led us on this journey to begin with. I decided to do a scripture search on "prepare" to see what God has to say and found these treasures.

Psalm 23:5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

Mark 1:3 Prepare the way of the Lord; make His paths straight.

John 14:2 I go to prepare a place for you.

1 Cor 2:9 Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things God has prepared for those who love him.

Eph 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Heb 11:16 But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.

There is plenty there for meditation.

I also thought about inspiration from a movie that caused me to think about Joshua months before we knew whether we would find him for adoption. It is from the movie, Facing The Giants...

I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name." Revelation 3:8

There were two men with fields that needed rain. They both prayed for rain, but only one went out and prepared his fields for it.
Which one are you?
God will send the rain in His time, your job is to prepare your fields for it.

Finally, as I look at the list of scriptures above, I can't help but be drawn to the Hebrews verse. My children all know that Hebrews Chapter 11, "the hall of faith" is my favorite chapter in the Bible. It is followed by the verse that I would probably pick as a life verse (if I'd ever picked one...) It seems to be a verse that comes to my mind often. Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us... (okay, have to do part of next verse - 'looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith...' rest of Chapter is really good too -- this is why I've never designated a "life verse." I'm not very good at picking favorites.)

Thank you friends for your prayers, support and encouragement! They mean so much to us.

20 Years!!

Today is our 20th Wedding Anniversary. We had thought maybe we would do something glamorous, romantic and exciting for our 20th Anniversary. We were thinking of somewhere warm and tropical. Instead, we are happily waiting for letter of acceptance from China. The traditional 20th wedding gift is China. We will gladly do without new dishes this year. We would love to hear from China instead! Here is are some then and now pictures...