How is He Adjusting?

That is the question I'm asked at least once each day. It is a very good question. I often try to put myself in his shoes and am at a loss to even begin to comprehend what it must be like to be 6 1/2 years old and have everything about your life change in an instant. The closest comparisons I can think of are the culture shock of traveling to Mexico or China or the adjustment of getting married and suddenly sharing everything about my life with another person. But those events really aren't fair comparisons -- I knew a lot about Mexico and China before I arrived, had translators available to me everyday and knew I was returning to what was familiar in a matter of days. When I married my husband, I had spent a few years getting to know him first before deciding to share my life with him. Joshua has had very little control over any of what has happened to him, little if any choice and most of the time has only a vague understanding of what will happen tomorrow or next week.

We are truly amazed by this smart, resilient and sweet little boy. We still see about one episode each day where he will withdraw emotionally and physically from us. Usually there is some small thing that has upset him. Today it was that he and Anna had a brief argument about whose turn it was to see a book. A few days ago it was because he had found a box of hershey bars (smore supplies) and wanted to bring them in the car and was told "no". Sometimes, he will just wake up in the morning or from a nap and be in this "funk" as we call it. He will spend 20 to 30 minutes looking sad. Sometimes he even has some tears. We love on him and keep him near us, often times going about our business in between giving him a hug and telling him we love him. Then, he'll just snap out of it again and join in with whatever is happening around him. He'll usually come give me a hug and kiss and be extra affectionate for a while. We think it just seems to be his way of processing all of the stress he has to be feeling from so many changes and the difficulty with fully expressing himself.

Today we had lunch with the dear woman who was a pediatric nurse in Taiwan for 32 years. Joshua really seems to enjoy visiting with her. I'm so thankful that he has had opportunities to converse in Mandarin. Usually, he chatters about things that are seemingly insignificant, but it must feel so good to him to be able to chatter and feel like there is some understanding of what he is chattering about. I'm quite sure that he will have much to say when he is fully fluent in English. I tried to ask about some of the most recent "sad" episodes. The only one he would talk about was the incident with Anna and really only said that she is always wanting to do whatever he is doing... Yes, we knew that. We talked a bit about how she is a little girl and was used to a lot of attention from Mom and Dad before he came and that she is learning to get along. He seemed to understand that. He really is very patient with her and shows geniune concern and affection toward her...she's just pushing him to the limit at times. I asked him what his favorite thing is about America and he said he really likes to go shopping! Yes, I knew that too -- hmmm, want to guess my least favorite thing to take him to do??? I asked him if he missed anything or anyone from China. Our friend wasn't sure what he was talking about in reply, but I'm fairly certain it was another narrative about the television shows he liked so much in China and that we don't let him watch here. It was all very light hearted with lots of smiles and laughter.

He is doing really well with learning English. Thankfully, he loves his English program and since it is DVD based, it fills some of that void left behind from those days of watching TV at the orphanage. Today, I took the kids and a friend on a long walk/run. For part of the time, Joshua and I started talking about "fast and slow" then "up and down", then "walk/run" then "feet/hands" and then I was pointing to various "flowers". He started walking along holding my hand practicing the harder to pronounce words. He is trying to teach me some vocabulary words in Chinese too -- I'm sure he is doing better than I am. Let's see, today I learned "shee gua" (that would be my spelling) for "watermelon" when he couldn't remember the word and resorted to drawing a picture (which he does very well!)

Here are pictures of Joshua's experiences this past week -- trip number two to the dentist (for the first 2 of 10 fillings...), crawfish with Grandpa, tether ball with Rachel, walking back to the car with siblings and friends after his first theater movie (love those free summer movies!) and the Shady Dell Steam Engine Park.

This week, I came upon a verse that I really liked. I need to figure out a way to put it into my own words so that I have an appropriate response to people that want to tell us what a great thing we have done. They are words spoken by Jesus regarding servants from Luke Chapter 17 (verses 9-10) "Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. So likewise, you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do. '"