24 Years

Today was our 24th Wedding Anniversary.  We have now been married longer than I had been alive when we had our wedding!  So perhaps, now that I have been married more than half of my life, my reflections on marriage have a little bit of credibility.  I don't know a lot about being single and don't remember it very well.  I do remember looking forward to marrying my best friend and waiting with great anticipation for our married life to begin.

People told us it would be challenging.  It didn't seem like it would be so difficult for us since we were in love and got along so well and were such nice people.  They were right though, married life is still life and it still involves fallen broken people, like me, and that makes it challenging.  It was harder than I ever thought it would be, but the adventure has also been better than I imagined.  I knew I would have things to learn, but I had no idea how much.

No relationship can grow, flourish or even survive without great energy and investment.  This is especially true in marriage because it is such an intimate partnership and the foundation of a family.  We all need help, advice and encouragement.  I am so thankful for books, seminars, ministries and friends that have grown, encouraged and helped us along the way.

Marriage is faced with challenges and assaults from every side and in every area of life.  Being one with someone else gives you a freedom to be yourself in all your beautiful, ugly glory.  A spouse has an up close and personal tour of your faults each day.  It is sobering, really, and I wonder what miracle has caused this man to love me so.  It truly must be something supernatural that helps him to love his wife as his own body. (Ephesians 5:28).  I know it is a work of the Spirit that helps this selfish, prideful, fleshly woman to respect her husband.  Not that he isn't worthy of respect, because he is.  He is loving to me and our children, a leader in our home, a hard working and capable provider and protector, a passionate follower of Christ, and he is smart, handsome and fun. 

He has learned to love me even on my bad days and to think I am being cute when I am being ridiculous.  I know that is a learned skill.  He knows when my shoulders and nerves are tight and is willing to give up precious minutes of sleep to massage out the kinks.  He has learned to love with a sacrificial love and I am trying to learn to do the same.  It is a hard thing to set aside my selfish priorities each day to love, care for and show respect for another.  I am thankful that God's love can work through me and overcome my selfishness.  There is a war at work in all of us that wants to tempt us to find fault while excusing ourselves, to question motives and taunt us to give into frustration and focusing on our failures and those of others.  I hope I have learned and am continuing to learn to listen to that voice of truth - the one that says to believe all things, hope all things, endure all things because love never fails.  I want to see the best in people and to love them with all their gifts and faults -- especially the husband that God, in His providence, has given to me.  I want to keep believing that I am living the dream with the husband I would have dreamed of having if I were single and the children I would have imagined if I had never had any...in the blessed life I never could have imagined before I started trusting God to write the story.

I could not have pictured what these 24 years would have looked like.  It has been an exciting, exhausting, terrifying, gut wrenching, joyful, tear-filled, hope-filled, blessed adventure.  I am in great anticipation, again, of what lies ahead in this great adventure.

Happy Anniversary to my dear husband.  I love you, always. Kristine